350 word essay ’bout how I view smoking

I just got back from the regional English contest. Sadly enough, I didn’t qualify for the next stage, not because my essay was bad, and to be honest it was one of the best there, since I managed to put a smile on everyone faces, but because of some bad written requirements at which I failed.

As I said, my essay was quite good, and out of the routine, hence most, if not everyone, wrote the same things, like why smoking is bad, and why one should not smoke , and it got quite boring hearing the same thing over and over again. I usually tend to write stuff in a some-how comic kind of way, which usually amazes people, at least a little. Well, my overall score was 84%, which isn’t that bad. 1% more and I would have qualified, but well, as a friend of mine says, “C’est la vie”.

Without any further ado, here’s my essay:

I’ve drawn you a picture of little Timmy. I hope that by looking at that picture you’ve successfully managed to realize that he is smocking. Pay even more attention to my drawing, Timmy is surrounded by smoke, allot of smoke, not from his cigar, but from other people’s cigars. So we don’t just have Timmy smoking, but other people too. Now, let me ask you why is Timmy smoking?

He is smoking because he is surrounded by friends who smoke, and he doesn’t want to feel left out. One way to stop him from smoking is to take his friends away, but doing so, would force Timmy into becoming a lone-wolf, and eventually would get bored of being alone, and decide to use his razor for another reason then shaving. So, separating him from his friends isn’t an option.

We could give Timmy and his friends a lot of sweets so in order to quit smoking, but that would make him get fatter and fatter, eventually having heart problems. We might as well tie him to a rock and throw him off a bridge while we are at it. Again, this is not an option.

And sending little Timmy to a “stop-smoking” seminar would be out of the questions, hence we wouldn’t want him to turn into a mindless zombie who thinks that “birds, nature, clean air, and self-control” is all there is to life.

But what can we do? All out of ideas are we? Well not quite, hence I still have a trump card up my sleeve. We could explain why smoking is bad, show him some severe damaged lungs, yellow teeth, and let him decide if he wants to look like “Paris Hilton” in her 80’s.

After all, it’s his life, and if he isn’t smart enough to decide what’s best for him, then who are we to alter his so called destiny? He will come to realize, in the end, that smoking is bad for him, and leaves him with a big hole in his wallet. Well, let’s look on the bright side, at least he isn’t doing drugs. Or is he?

And that was my essay. Yes, I did drew pictures similar to those above on the same paper where my essay was, and yes, everyone laughed when they saw them.

P.s. I also smoke.
P.s. 2. I know it has nothing to do with coding and game developing, but I did want to share my essay.

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