This past year has been amazing for me, both profesional and social. I have a great job, my life now takes place in a new town, my room mate is one of my best friends from the past, I’ve meet new people and new doors have opened for me. I matured alot over this past year and I learned how to walk without having other people near me to catch me, in case I fall.
This new world gave me strength, I became a new person, I have more courage, and I feel that I’m invulnerable, to the future. But when old friends, crushes or fragments of the past keep getting in my way, I kinda jump from one edge to another. I have great vision, and I plan alot of fun things, but when I am stuck between old and new, I feel like a Monkey who has a hard time deciding wheter or not to eat his own poo. It’s hard to be myself, because people either know me for who I was before, or who I am know, and when both “me” colide, then run for cover, because a mess will start. I care alot about people from my past, I’m still attached to them in one way or another, but I also care for the image I forged, and how people react to it. And even though changed occured, one thing remains the same, one thing I lust for, since the “begining of time”.
I lust for adventures, epic little moments in my life that make me feel special. A year ago I had all the time I ever wanted to do almost everything I desired, being it a trip to the mountains, with only my backpack, cigars and a tent, or cruise on an wretched old boat. Now I have the possibilities to do all of them, but time is what I’m lacking. I find myself working during the week, going home to eat and sleep so that I can do the same the following days. I spend my weekends at work, not because I’m obliged, but because I like what I’m doing, and yet I feel the need to brake this chain. But how can I?
If I could, I’d hop on a train, with a bag, and go where ever I can. From there, I could go in any direction, or maybe go back to where I left from, on foot, meeting new people on the way, and learning new things. Maybe I will be faced with the possibilitie of defending myself from a wild animal, or saving someone from falling of a cliff. Maybe I’ll meet an old lady and listen to her stories, or feed a puppy on my way. New friendships could be formed, new memories could be forged and more doors to the future could be opened. My personality will surelly be re-shaped and thus I’ll become an evolved me.
Who doesn’t lust for that? I know I do.